2007 is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. Most people think of New Years as a time of insane revelry but, (as a sober fellow) I have more time to reflect than others. In ancient Iroquois custom, New Years Eve is the night when a young man gets drunk on "fire water" and calls their "ex-girlfriends" to find out if they still "love them."
In other parts of the world, NYE is the biggest night in Mixed Martial Arts or MMA. Mixed Martial Arts is the technical term for grown ass men getting into a cage and wasting each other with their fists. The sport has evolved into a combination of kickboxing, jiu-jitsu, wrestling, and other nasty things that fuck people up. I'm assuming that most of our readers are American so the context that most of us know MMA is The Ultimate Fighting Championship, or UFC. This leads us to this column's
Fun Fact Section
The fun fact that I'm leaving with you fine readers is that MMA is a huge, huge sport on the global scale. The UFC is really kind of a minor league in the grand scheme of things. Brazil, Canada, and Russia all have massive fight leagues. However, most top fighters in the world fight in the Japanese league, PRIDE FC. In Japan the sport is so huge there that they have are several minor leagues such as Shooto and K-1.
The best way of wrapping my brain around UFC as a minor league is to think in terms of soccer. The UFC is kind of like Serie A in Italy. There are tons of good teams in Serie A, and most Italians probably follow Italian soccer more than British soccer but the top Italian players play in the English Premiership League. Lots of top American fighters leave the UFC to fight in PRIDE FC. Isn't that interesting? I'm actually assuming a lot of this since I've never met anyone from Italy.
Fighting is a way bigger deal in the world than it is in the US but it seems to be gaining popularity, which brings us to this column's
Insight
The first time I watched the UFC, I went ironically. An improv friend of mine invited me over to watch the fights and I figured if would be a silly fun time. That night, I watched a French Canadian Jiu-Jitsu master take on a Hawaiian brawler in a match for number one contender in the Welter Weight division. The French Canadian came out swinging and caught an uppercut one the tip of his nose in the fist two minutes of the fight. The French Canadian went on to fight thirteen more minutes with blood gushing out of his nose and one of is eyes swollen shut from a punch. He fought hard and strong and pulled out a close decision due to ring control and impressive wrestling. Everyone on earth should have seen it. Everyone.
Coming from Indiana when I think of basketball, I think of Reggie Miller bitching for two hours straight or Ronnie Artest asking to quit for a few months to make a rap record. When I think of football, I think of Peyton Manning pouting on the sidelines after blowing another big game. Football is the sport where TO thought it was funny to mock his lack of preparation by pretending to sleep in the end zone. When I think of fighting, I think of pure human emotion. If you have even a shred of belief in what I'm saying, you owe it to yourself to catch at least one MMA event. Which brings us to
Stuff for Your Free Time
Please visit www.sherdog.com and find a fighter that looks interesting to you and invest in them. Might I suggest Georges St. Pierre. He's from France-Canada and he's super good.
Super Short Poem
Nero's ancient gladiators
Fought inspired by zealotry to Ares
and the distant promise of freedom
Pay-per-view's modern gladiators
Fight inspired by growth hormone
and the major promise of minor fame
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