Field Sobriety Test: A Tale Of Two Bomb-Makers.

So FST is a pop culture blog, right? Cool. Well POP-ular culture hasn't changed for me in quite some time, but I have had something pretty weighty on my mind. And it goes into a killer insight section. So anyways, what I've been thinking about is the bomb.

Yes, that bomb. The big bomb. I have been researching for a play that I'm writing and in my research I came across just how painfully human the search for the bomb was. We all know that the end result was blowing off a chunk of Japan, but in the process, many careers were made and ruined and all of that great stuff. There were two gentlemen in particular that always stand out to me when I research this stuff. That brings us to this column's

Fun Fact Section

The head scientist and the head military advisor for the bomb both hated the project, but for very different reasons.

Dr. Robert Oppenheimer was the head of the Manhattan Project, which produced the bomb. He considered himself a citizen of the world and a nihilist (as most scientists of his time did) and was horrified at the destruction that he had unleashed on the world. On top of this, many of Oppenheimer's theoretical physics colleagues were German. He had spent extensive time in his formative years lecturing and touring Europe so he was afraid that America was going to kasplode his buddies.

Col. Leslie Groves was a top military advisor to the Manhattan Project. On top of this, Col. Groves was an extremely gifted commander who had been put in charge of two top secret and super important projects (namely the construction of the Pentagon and the Manhattan Project). Great, right? Wrong. Col. Groves apparently requested a transfer to an "active" theatre of war on a regular basis and dreaded the day that the war came to an end. As if he hadn't had a chance to prove himself.

These two people were friends and they worked side by side. Both of them hated what they were doing, which brings us to this column's

Insight Section

I think everyone hates their job. I know very very few people who like what they do. Are you ready to follow me on this one? Ok, here goes.

I personally come to the conclusion that human beings are genetically wired to be unhappy. Why is this? Well, if you think about out formative years as a species, the people who were unsatisfied were the ones the kept foraging longer than their cave man brothers. Those fuckers took a nap and got eaten by a T-Rex.

All dinosaur jokes aside, I honestly think the advent of desk life on modern society didn't give time for evolution to catch up. Dissatisfied people make great farmers because farming take toiling. Being a receptionist who is antsy to get things done is just a drag. Being a farmer that aches to work is smart.

Oh...and the bomb and shit.

Anywhoo...so this week doesn't have a mail bag because no one wrote in to ryandeegilmour@hotmail.com. So, this week’s mail bag question is.

"What other things about human nature hurts us in modern times."

Okey-dokey. Everyone be safe and remember to email

Super Short Poem

"He who finds a job they love will never work a day in their life."
-Quoted from Con-Fush-Ous
Unless someone lied to me a long time ago

Tuesdays Lost Youtube Clip: The Physics of Superheroes.

Every Tuesday, the CPC brings you the YouTube clip that you missed this week. But probably should've seen.

This week, we proudly present 2 Clips for your Viewing Pleasure! Both of these clips are of Dr.Jim Kakalios giving a lecture on the Physics of Superheroes at the CONvergence Comic Convention. Dr. Kakalios is the author of the book, "The Physics of Superheroes", which you can purchase at this link.

In this first clip, Dr. Kakalios explains the difficulties of picking up entire buildings and flying around with them. Be forewarned, this clip discusses the tragic Superman-caused massacre of a building full of orphans.



In this second clip, Dr. Kakalios discusses why normal people don't go around carrying chunks of White Dwarf Matter to their car trunks.



To learn more about Dr.Kakalios, his theories or his book, you may want to check out his website, www.physicsofsuperheroes.com

The Do-Gooder Corner: Community Building Tutors.

Community Building Tutors

Rachel Lewis’ exposure to the Community Building Tutors happened when she was running workshops on nonprofit organizations for the Illinois CPA Society. When she met Bart Phillips, founder and current Board President of Community Building Tutors, Rachel says “I was so impressed with what he was doing that I asked how I could become involved.” Rachel now serves on CBT’s Board of Directors.

Community Building Tutors is a relatively new volunteer organization in Chicago, with its first program taking place in Spring 2005 at the Chicago Park District’s Chase Park. CBT joins young professionals and students at all grade levels - elementary through college - for one-on-one tutoring and community focused projects.

Community Building Tutors recruits young professionals to serve as the coordinators of tutoring services of elementary and middle school children. High school and college students perform the actual one-on-one tutoring, with young professionals proctoring the sessions. At the end of the year, all CBT volunteers and students participate in a one-day community service project.

Community Building Tutors serves a diverse population of young students, and this year has expanded to serving three sites: Chase Park (4701 N. Ashland), ACME Art Works (1741 N. Western), and Merit School of Music (38 S. Peoria).

There are different time commitments for volunteers, depending on the way one wants to get involved. CBT is looking for tutors, site coordinators, activity leaders, volunteer activity participant and Board members. Potential volunteers can email specific question about getting involved at playarole@cbtutors.org.

To find out more information about Community Building Tutors, check out the website at www.cbtutors.org.

Or better yet, attend CBT’s Spring Tutoring Session Kick-off Fundraising Party, Friday Feb. 9 at Wrightwood Tap (1059 W. Wrightwood), 8-11pm. For $25, you can get into the all-you-can-drink party. Proceeds, of course will benefit CBT.

Looking Up: An Introduction to Steel Frame Structures.

We’ve talked a lot about Burnham and how he struggled with developing the “Chicago School of Architecture” because he was so stuck in the architecture of the past.

You may have heard the term before, The “Chicago School”, but what does it mean? What do I mean when I say that Sullivan was building in a whole new way? What was going on here that wasn’t going on in New York or Boston?

Well it all started with the fire of 1871. Previous to the fire, most of the buildings were cast iron or wood. When the fire hit, 70,000 buildings burned, 300 people died. It scared the city, and new builders were told to only build fireproof buildings.

NYC and Boston weren’t nearly as scared of fire as we were, and our fear of fire led to the innovation of what is now known as “steel frame structure”. William LeBaron Jenney built the first steel framed structure building in 1885, (The Home Insurance Building. Alas, it no longer stands), meaning the skeleton of the metal frame was actually holding up the building. Previously to this, the walls bore the load of the building (known as “load bearing” buildings, imagine that). When building a load bearing structure, the walls had to get thicker as the building got higher. For example, check out the Monadnock building at 53 W. Jackson (above), designed by Daniel Burnham and John Root. The higher the building goes, the thicker its walls get. You can see how thick they are through the windows. (left) The Monadnock is still the tallest, occupied load-bearing structure in the world.


But once the skeleton could hold up the walls, the buildings could grow higher.

When Jenney built his skeleton frame, he basically hung the walls of the building onto the skeleton. Even today, the cladding of a building is called the "curtain wall", because you’re just hanging it right off the frame. We mostly used terra cotta as the cladding, because it was fireproof.

So, boom, in Chicago we’re building buildings no one had ever seen before...Skyscrapers. With the invention of the elevator and the revolving door (which regulated wind and heat in the building), the buildings got higher and higher. Initially, people were generally afraid of these higher buildings, so when you look at historic Chicago skyscrapers, they tend to look boxy, and big, and sturdy.

Check out the Marquette building designed by Holabird and Roche in 1895 at 140 S. Dearborn, notice how dark and heavy it is. (left)

Next week we’ll learn how Louis Sullivan managed to influence almost the entire city (including Burnham himself) with his plan to build these new-fangled skyscrapers.

Field Sobriety Test: A Message For All Of You Late Bloomers.

For this to work, you’re going to have to close your eyes. Do it.

I want you to picture a third grade classroom with Mrs. Terry, the teacher having all of her kids lined up in front of her desk. This is Brentwood Elementary. Brentwood is a gentle blue color everywhere. Outside, various weather measuring devices litter the yard under the Indiana sky.

There are about thirty kids in Mrs. Terry’s class and we are all holding up 3x5 cards with that week’s spelling words on them. Mrs. Terry inspects the class’ cards. There are a couple of people who don’t have their cards done so Mrs. Terry says to all of us, “These are pretty good, but in the fourth grade, they won’t give those people who didn’t do their cards an extra day.” I was scared shitless.

I distinctly remember thinking, “Oh fuck, fourth grade is going to be hard as shit.”

Fourth grade was easy and dumb. This is because, within the frames that we construct, we have little to no control over what happens to us.

Fourth grade felt about the same, but I was sure middle school was going to be hard.
Middle School was easy, but I was sure that High School was going to be a challenge.
I slept through most of High School and kept a B average but I was sure none of these Plainfield types would bother me at Ball State.
I got to Ball State and met some of the biggest asses I’ve ever met in my life but I was sure, in the working world, there was no way that these people would make it.
Now, I work in an office, and it’s the same fucking people.

In conclusion, the people that surround you never change. I think it was someone really wise or a Hallmark card that said, “Bloom where you are planted.” This (through the magic of tortured logic) is the point that I’m trying to get to today. Saying “bloom where you are planted” is easy from the comfort of your ass, but in this column’s fun fact section, I’m giving you two avenues to get on your feet. Here is this column’s

Super Super Helpful Fun Fact Section

Now, if you have no ambitions in any creative areas, then you can stop reading. As a matter of fact, I want you to stop reading and go re-evaluate your life. Now…do it.

For those of you with writing ambitions, on of the greatest tools that you can use is Duotrope. Duotrope is a search engine of literary magazines and novel publishers. It gives information like, how often a magazine takes submissions, the format that they prefer. If a lad or lass was inclined (like I was for awhile), they could write one piece a week and submit it. If this is done, you WILL be a published author within the year. Mark my words. You will have bloomed into a poet.

For those of you with comedy ambition, you can rely on the third graders with flash cards of the major Chicago training centers, or you can make your own films for the web and be a producer. At www.chicagofilmmakers.org, you can join the Chicago Camera Co-op and have professional quality cameras at your fingertips at hourly rates. They also have access to editing studios and sound work. It’s a lot of work from this point, but we want to bloom here. Blooming is hard. Awesome, huh?

Those should be helpful. Let’s hope. It’s been a good time to evaluate lately. Which brings us to this column’s

Insight Section

“Never, never, never give up.”
Winston Churchill

See what I did there?

Let’s break this down. On one level, I just laid one of the most famous “bloom where you are planted” quotes in the world on you, my loyal readers.

On top of that, I just got out of having to have an insight section written. I was in LA all week and I’m BAWLS exhausted .On top of that, it’s negative one hundred million degrees outside.

Fuck, I’m smart.

Super Short Poem

If you want to fire me, that’s fine.
I’m ”adding value.”
I’m synergizing.
I’m team playing.
Just not at your company.

NOTE:
Field Sobriety Test is going to be adding (filler) some more content (filler) in the form of an email section (filler). If you would like to have your emails addressed in the column, email them to The Field Sobriety Test Mailbag at ryandeegilmour@hotmail.com. Emails will be reposted in the column.

Tuesdays Lost Youtube Clip: There is a Time...

Every Tuesday, the CPC brings you the YouTube clip that you missed this week. But probably should've seen.

This week, we proudly present "The Darlings on The Andy Griffith Show singing There Is a Time." The Darlings were actually played by the very talented bluegrass group, The Dillards. You can learn more about them, here.

Weekly Question #6: The Worst Date Ever.

(Every Monday, the CPC posts a New Weekly Question. CPC visitors are invited to answer the question, debating its points, in the comments section of the site. We write the question. You write the actual article.)

Jump right in!

You know you've suffered through the Worst Date Ever, don't you? It was just as bad as you remember it being. Why don't you tell us all about it?

THIS WEEKS QUESTION:

Tell us about The Worst Date Ever.
Specifically what was the Moment when you knew that things weren't going to end well for one or the both of you?

Discuss!